new raspberry; �HATES technological I am sick to death of erectile dysfunction, pass the tampons please |
Before you go... Before you go... Kid, I have spent the last ten years of my life doing all the things for you that a mother is supposed to do. Everything I do for you is designed so that when you are an adult and you are on your own, you will survive. Hopefully more than survive; hopefully have a good, happy life. I want you to do well in school because if you do better in school, you will get a better job. If you have the discipline to do your school work, to do your chores, and to get along with the people you live with, it will prepare you to get and keep a job, to rent a place to live, to live within your paycheck. It will prepare you to work in peace with people that you don�t like, or people that you are mad at because there will be people that you don�t like everywhere you go and if you don�t figure out a way to get along with them, you will not have a job for very long. If you have the discipline to do these things now, it prepares you to go to college so that you can have a career, not just a job. A career is something you want to spend your life doing. A career pays you something better than a living wage. A job is flipping hamburgers at McDonalds until you can work in your chosen career. I�m very proud of Older Brother and that he has had the same job for three years, but he only has a job. He lives paycheck to paycheck and is not able to save up any money for fun things. Every penny he earns at his job goes to pay for rent, electricity, water, his car, food, just the bare necessities. If he had finished high school and gone to a trade school or college he would have a career instead of a job. One of the guys that Older Brother works with does the same exact thing that Older Brother does, but because this other guy has a certificate from a trade school, he makes TWICE as much money as Older Brother does�for the same work. So when you think it doesn�t matter what you do in school, you are wrong. Yes, there are some things they make you do in school that you will never use again in your life, but you won�t know what those things are until you figure out what you want to do with your life so you need to learn them because you might need them later on. I did not know what I wanted for a career until I was out of high school for 9 years. THEN I went to college to get the education I needed to pursue that career. If I had not finished what I needed to learn in high school, I would not have been able to do that and I would still be emptying bed pans for old people in a rest home. You know I am an alcoholic. Do you know why? I drank too much because I was trying to forget a very unhappy childhood. You�ve met my dad, he seems like a really nice guy, but he was not always that way. When I was a kid, he used to drink too much and yell at all of us and hit us all the time, just like his parents did to him when he was a kid. My mom also drank, and while she sometimes yelled at us, she never hit us, but she also never stopped my dad from hitting us. And for a long time I hated both of them for the terrible things that they did to me and my brother. I prayed every night for someone to come and take me away to live somewhere else so I wouldn�t get yelled at and I wouldn�t get hit anymore. And when that never happened, I ran away from home. And I was a smart kid, Kid. I knew how to survive on the street. I knew I could sleep in the bathroom in the park. I could get food from the trash dumpsters behind restaurants. I could steal things I needed. Sometimes I got caught and went to jail. My parents would leave me in jail for as long as they could because they knew I had a place to sleep, food to eat, and I was safe. Then the police would tell them they had to come and get me and the next week I would run away again. I did some terrible things to survive when I ran away from home. So I drank a lot because it made me forget the terrible things they did and the terrible things I did. That�s why a lot of people drink and do drugs, Kid. They want to forget about bad things. But the bad things don�t go away. They are always still there when the alcohol or the drugs are gone. The way I stopped drinking was to get counseling to make peace with the things that happened when I was little, the things that I did; and the way I keep not drinking is to go to AA. I know you don�t want to hear anything bad about The Evil mother in law from Hell, but you certainly have no problem when she tells you bad things about us, so yes, I am going to say some bad things about The Evil mother in law from Hell. I want you to be informed. People who are informed have a better chance of making good decisions and I think your decision to go live with The Evil mother in law from Hell is a very bad one. Yes, you will have a great time. She will spoil you rotten. She will buy you anything you want. She probably won�t care much about bad grades, unless they get so bad that you flunk out. Then her nagging about doing better in school will start. But by then it might be too late, sometimes when you fall behind in school, it�s not possible to catch up. Sometimes you can catch up, but it�s a lot harder than if you had done it right the first time. You will probably have some little chores to do, but not as much responsibility as you have now, I can guarantee that because The Evil mother in law from Hell will control your life. She will do everything for you and that must seem like heaven to a 14 year old boy. But it doesn�t teach you anything about how to live as an adult. You know how to do your own laundry. You know how to cook meals. You know how to keep a clean house. You know how to do the right thing because WE taught you that. I don�t think you will do a lot of learning from The Evil mother in law from Hell. What I tried to tell you last night is that there are always two sides to every story. The Evil mother in law from Hell says she was a good mother. She has three kids, Ms., aka my better half, Crack�Ho and The brother in law who hates Lesbians, that will tell you that she was not. They will tell you that she yelled at them all the time. They will tell you that she never gave them the responsibility to do things for themselves. Crack�Ho will tell you that she wanted to get out of The Evil mother in law from Hell�s house so bad that she joined the Army to get away. Crack�Ho will tell you that the same way I used alcohol to try to forget my past; she used drugs to try to forget her past. Don�t just take my word for it, ask her about it. Uncle The brother in law who hates Lesbians will tell you that he was so happy growing up with The Evil mother in law from Hell that he moved out and went to live with another family when he was finishing high school. Uncle The brother in law who hates Lesbians did drugs too, just like Crack�Ho. An explanation of cutting: There are people who deliberately cut their skin, burn themselves, and break their own bones. They do it systematically for many years, and without help, they can rarely stop. Many have lived through severe forms of emotional or physical childhood abuse. The pain they feel is mute � their only cry �a bright red scream�. They call themselves �cutters.� Self-mutilation is a behavior so shocking that it is almost never discussed. Yet estimates are that more than two million Americans are chronic self-injurers and one recent study suggests that as many as one in eight young people have deliberately harmed themselves at some point in their lives. Ms., aka my better half, will never come and tell you this about herself, it�s too painful a thing for her to talk about, but I will tell you. In addition to using drugs to forget about her past, Ms., aka my better half, was also what they call a Cutter. Ms., aka my better half, used to cut herself, hurt herself, make herself bleed, so that the pain that she felt right then when she was cutting herself would replace the pain she felt about her past. It�s sort of like when you used to get mad and bang your head against the wall, only a lot worse. If you ask her about it, she might tell you, but she might not want to talk about it. So ask Crack�Ho, she will tell you about it. Kid, I know that some people grow up to do bad things no matter how well their parents raised them. And if only one of The Evil mother in law from Hell�s kids went on to do bad things, I would think that The Evil mother in law from Hell was probably a good mom and that the bad kid was just a bad kid and that there was nothing she could do about it. But Kid, all three of her kids grew up so hating themselves and the things that happened in their past, that they used drugs and alcohol to make their pain go away. I�m sure The Evil mother in law from Hell thinks she did the best she could with her kids. She had a terrible childhood too, and sometimes parents do the same things to their children that their parents did to them simply because that�s what they were taught and they don�t know any better. It�s why I never wanted to have children myself, I was afraid that I would do the same things to them that my parents did to me. Many children who are abused grow up to abuse their own children. I am not telling you these things because I want you to hate The Evil mother in law from Hell. I don�t think The Evil mother in law from Hell can help the way she is. I don�t think The Evil mother in law from Hell can do for you the things that are in your best interests because sometimes those things are hard to do. In the short term, sometimes it�s easier to look the other way and ignore problems, but that�s how little problems grow into big ones. So no, I�m not telling you these things because I want you to hate The Evil mother in law from Hell, I am telling you these things because I want you to know what has happened in the past. I know you always have fun when you visit The Evil mother in law from Hell, but there is a big difference between a visit to someone and living with someone. I don�t want you calling me in a month and telling me that I didn�t tell you how bad things can be there. I�m telling you now. You need to think about this decision because it will affect the rest of your life. You need to talk to Crack�Ho and ask her if she really thinks you should go live with The Evil mother in law from Hell. You can even ask your Uncle The brother in law who hates Lesbians. I�ve never met him, I don�t know if he�d tell you the truth or not, but you can always ask. And ask The Mute Fuck that�s married to The Evil mother in law from Hell. If you ask him when The Evil mother in law from Hell isn�t there to tell him what to say, he might even tell you the truth. Let me remind you of some things, Kid. Last summer when you went to The Evil mother in law from Hell�s, you were upset because one of your cousins was using the computer and it was your turn. Rather than have a fight about it, you found something else to do. Then The Evil mother in law from Hell kicked your cousin off the computer and told you to come take your turn, and you told her that was ok, you�d found something else to do. And she got mad at you. And you got mad at her. Rather than fight with her about it, you went for a walk to cool your anger. You did the right thing, just like we taught you to do. And she got mad at you for practicing what is an anger management technique. Why? Because she would never practice an anger management technique. If The Evil mother in law from Hell�s mad at you, whether she�s right or wrong, she is going to let you know she�s mad at you. I�ve been practicing anger management, just like you Kid. You and I disagree all the time, but I�ve quit yelling at you, haven�t I. In fact, I�ll bet that a couple of times, you didn�t even know I was mad at you. Why? Because I didn�t yell, I didn�t ground you. I wanted to talk to Ms., aka my better half, before I took any action, so I just kept my mouth shut. Let me remind you of some other things: For a long time The Evil mother in law from Hell did not speak to Uncle The brother in law who hates Lesbians. Ask her why. Then ask Uncle The brother in law who hates Lesbians why. Get both sides of the story. The Evil mother in law from Hell is not speaking to Crack�Ho. You know why The Evil mother in law from Hell says that is, but ask Crack�Ho why. I guarantee that she will tell you something different from what The Evil mother in law from Hell�s telling you. And who are you going to believe Kid, when you have to choose between Crack�Ho and The Evil mother in law from Hell. Why is it that The Evil mother in law from Hell doesn�t speak to Ms., aka my better half, and me? It�s because she disagreed with what we needed to do for Older Brother. You don�t like something your child is doing, so you just quit speaking to them�forever. How stupid is that? What are you going to do when she gets mad and quits speaking to you? Who are you going to call then? Let me remind you again of how she has treated you in the past. You made The Evil mother in law from Hell a beautiful video for Christmas one year. You put a lot of love, time and effort into it. How did she react to your gift? (Editor�s note: She ripped him a new asshole. Told him it was lousy and she didn�t care about his home or his pets or what he did for fun.) You saw how The Evil mother in law from Hell was on the phone last night. She doesn�t want to hear what she needs to do to make it so that you can come and live with her. Why, because we are the ones telling her what she needs to do. We, the people who have already seen all the lawyers and judges who have told US what EVERYONE needs to do to make this happen. But because the information is coming from us, she doesn�t want to listen to it. I hope she talks to a lawyer, because a lawyer will tell her exactly what we�ve already tried to tell her. Maybe she will believe it then. I don�t like The Evil mother in law from Hell, but I sure don�t hate The Evil mother in law from Hell either (Editor's note: This is a lie; I hate the fucking bitch, but I�m not going to tell that to The Kid. Guess I�m not working that part of my program very well�). That would be like me hating you because you have brown eyes. It�s not something you can change. What�s wrong with The Evil mother in law from Hell is not anything she can change. But it�s not enough for her to disagree with us. She�s mean. And when she disagrees with us, she goes out of her way to make our lives harder and goes out of her way to hurt us. That�s wrong. If you can�t see that, I don�t know how I can possibly make you understand anything. I can�t tell you how hurt we were by your behavior on the phone last night. (Editor's note: TEMILFH read us the riot act for making him do his own laundry) For you to sit there and not tell The Evil mother in law from Hell that you ASKED to do your own laundry is inexcusable. I cannot believe you didn�t defend the people who have done nothing but good for you for the past ten years. What that says to me is that when there is trouble, you will not speak up to defend your friends or family. Just like you didn�t speak up when Little Trouble-maker you used to hang out With got in trouble for something YOU wrote on the bus. Have you ever bothered to tell The Evil mother in law from Hell anything nice about us? Like when you did a terrible job picking up after the dog (Editor's note: Yup, he had poop patrol), we stopped making you do that and let YOU pick a different chore to replace it? Do you ever tell her about the nice things we do for you? Or do you just write her when you want money and figure that if you say bad things about us, maybe she will feel sorry for you and send you some money. Kid, I love you very much. You are a bright, funny, beautiful boy. I want nothing but the best for you. If I did not want the best for you, I would not have spent all this time acting like a mom and doing mom things for you. I would have left it all to Ms., aka my better half, to do. I would not have quit my job if I did not think that you needed a �mom� more than I needed a paycheck. If I didn�t care about you, I would have done none of these things. Kid, I spend a lot of time trying to think like you, and putting my feet in your shoes. I think that if I were you I would be very angry at my mother for not being a mother, for not being a part of my life. I think that if I were you I would be very angry at my father for not being a father, for not being a part of my life. I think that if I were you, I would resent the fact that I have brothers and sisters that I never see and some I have never even met. I think that if I were you, I would spend more time thinking of the people that have always been here for me, the people who took me when no one else wanted me. I would spend more time being grateful to them for doing this and showing my appreciation for this. I�m not your mother Kid, and I don�t have to do these things for you. Ms., aka my better half�s not your mother either, but she sure treats you like her son. Think about that. For once why don�t you think about how we feel and all we have given up for you, because we are important too. We have value. Everyone in this house is important, not just Kid. Editor's note: He did read the letter. He did rip it up into little pieces, but not before he read it to The Evil mother in law from Hell. I got a letter from her today...I wonder what it says... Listening to: david letterman Smelling: mashmallows Reading: brad meltzer the zero game Mood: resigned
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