bigotry; smilies; liberals; extreme
mentalists; entitlements; big
I am sick to death of erectile dysfunction, pass the tampons please
100 Things About Me
4:21 p.m. - Saturday, Feb. 21, 2004
101 things about me
...because 100 just didn’t seem like
I was born in Hollywood, California.
I have an IQ score that is disgustingly underutilized.
My parents gave me a short first name—not the name I
currently use—to counter a long and un-pronounceable surname.
My middle name of Arleen is from my paternal grandmother.
I adopted my current first name when I applied for my
social security card in high school.
I’ve recently wished I could revert to my birth name.
I was bald at birth. They called me “Ike” after President
I made up for it by sprouting the most gorgeous naturally
curly hair, also compliments of my paternal grandmother.
I spent my first years in some sort of metal brace
contraption to correct a hip socket defect.
My brother had surgery in his early teens to correct a
I left my lifelong home of Los Angeles at the age of 43
to live in a small town in Kansas.
I love living in a small town.
I miss hanging out in West Hollywood.
I could go all day without seeing another person and not
There are fewer things/people I miss in California than I
thought there would be.
I would die for my dogs.
I have a cat that thinks he’s a dog and two cats that
know they are cats.
I dislike cicadas.
I dislike most bugs for that matter.
I get excited when I see a blue heron fishing in my pond.
I love the sound of honking geese as they fly overhead.
I’m glad they don’t like my pond as I can’t stand geese
I liked deer until I found out they eat roses.
I despise squirrels—they’ve chewed both my phone line and
my power line in half.
I got a squirrel gun for Christmas this year.
And I know how to use it…look out squirrels.
I kill moles via hand-to-hand combat.
I love a violent thunderstorm.
I used to be terrified of thunderstorms but I had to get
over that when I moved to Kansas.
I once closed my eyes driving across Utah because of a
thunderstorm. My friend Sousan insisted I open my eyes or she would kill me. You heard me right; I was driving with my eyes closed.
I’ve lived alone, by myself, for one year of my entire
It wasn’t long enough.
I thought I was a republican, but a survey I just took
says I’m a democrat. Shit. What do I do now?
The older I get, the more narrow-minded I become.
I was raised Catholic, but no longer practice an
organized religion because most organized religions would burn me at the
That’s ok, I believe Jesus loves me. His dad too.
I cried at a Barbra Striesand concert. Not because it was
good, but because my seat was so high in the stands I was afraid I was going
to fall, all the way down to the floor of Arrowhead Pond, and break my neck. I
got club seats for my next visit to Arrowhead Pond to see the Ducks.
I split my own wood with an 8-pound maul.
I own my own chainsaw. Table saw too.
I paid for a subscription to have half my favorite comics
emailed to me every day. I’m not ready to pay to have the other half emailed
from ‘the other’ syndicate so I read them online.
I am addicted to my Outlook To-Do list. I wouldn’t get
anything done without it.
When I look in the mirror, I see a younger me.
I’m an instant asshole—just add alcohol so I quit
drinking. Go Bill W.
I quit smoking because my mother got lung cancer. Dateline 7/2004: Didn't work, I'm using the excuse of intolerable stress to go back on the fags...
I missed the cigarettes more than the booze.
I miss cocaine most of all. A trip to the ER made me quit that one before I
could get addicted.
I love to read, especially when I can read a book
My favorite author used to be Stephen King but he’s lost
it since the accident.
I go to a writer’s retreat each September. Each time I
get braver with sharing my writings.
I will take pictures of anything—even road kill.
In the winter I like the heat set at 74.
In the summer I like the cool set at 70.
My partner and I are temperature incompatible.
I am a lesbian, despite being married to a man for many
I am divorced.
I kept my husband’s surname when we divorced.
I am in a committed, monogamous relationship with a woman
I don’t believe humans are meant to be monogamous, but I
respect my partner enough to honor her belief in it.
I am not a mother, but I am a stay-at-home parent.
I miss my income, but not my job.
I resent being financially dependent upon my partner
since I think she is sometimes more “cheap” than “frugal.”
I realize she has our best interests for our retirement
years in mind when she is being “cheap.”
I hate my mother-in-law. When next we meet, it is my
desire to be shoveling dirt on her coffin. Sorry if that sounds uncharitable
but she made it her mission to destroy a very happy family so I pray there is
a special place for her—in hell.
I am an only child due to the demise of my brother in
1981 at the age of fifteen. His death shattered an already fractured family.
We’re only just now re-connecting.
My favorite coffee is Chocolate Raspberry.
I mix cranraspberry juice with diet coke.
I can’t believe I survived my teens; I was very reckless
and lived dangerously…
I was arrested several times as a teenager for grand
theft auto. I was never charged, and always eventually released.
The police stopped cruising on Van Nuys Blvd. before I
got my driver’s license.
I once ran away to escape the wrath of my father over a
bad report card. Two states away wasn’t far enough…
I don’t currently own my own vehicle.
I’m a compulsive house cleaner, but I’m getting better
about letting things slide. If only my family would pick up after themselves.
I believe that when things cost more, they are generally
of a better quality than something less expensive.
But I will still shop at Walmart every chance I get.
I love to shop on the Internet.
Heck, I love to shop anywhere. I’m a shop-a-holic.
I played clarinet in the band in school. A bottle of
vodka fit perfectly inside our band hats.
I tried out for drill team but ended up getting stoned
for the final try-out and blowing it.
I slept through 11th grade history and got an
I was smarter than my teachers, with the exception of Ms.
Haley, my 10th grade English teacher.
I finished high school via the CHSPE.
I did not exit college with a degree.
I am a few credits short of an AA in criminal justice.
I took a bunch of criminal justice classes to keep my
student status active while I was waiting for space to be available in the
computer classes I wanted to take.
I would make a lousy cop.
I’ve lost a good portion of my personal possessions to
earthquakes twice in my life.
I’ll take a ten-minute tornado warning over no earthquake
warning any day.
I am compulsive about watching the weather forecast on
the local news since we moved to Kansas. Weather was a joke in California,
life or death here in Kansas.
I like having 4 seasons.
I miss the beach.
I miss the impossibly steep mountains in So Cal.
I love playing roulette in Las Vegas. I don’t go there
I agree with the person who said writing all these “I”
and “Me” statements is hard.
I am an emotionally distant person—I think the result of
being raised by undependable alcoholics—and prefer to keep my own counsel.
I am a perfectionist.
I see things as more black and white, than shades of
AA hasn’t made it any easier to admit it when I am wrong.
I’ve never been happy with my weight, even when it was
I’m not a huge TV watcher, but I hate to miss Judging
Amy, ER and Providence.
I never wanted to visit Italy before I watched the movie
Under the Tuscan Sun.
I would like to visit each state in the United States of
last five reads
kim dearth the compassion of dogs alice randall the wind done gone joyce maynard at home in the world linda howard kiss me while i sleep brad metzler the zero game