new raspberry; �HATES technological I am sick to death of erectile dysfunction, pass the tampons please |
Dirty Secrets # 3 Dirty Secrets # 3 I hate children. I don�t have the time or the patience for them. Which is why it is so ironic that I find myself cast in the role of parent� Flashback to 1996�After a suitable grieving period for the nuclear meltdown of my relationship with Sousan (which is a whole �nother diary entry) I am ready to date again. This whole lesbian dating thing is a mystery to me. I�ve always managed to ruin a perfectly good friendship by getting romantically involved with the �friend� so I�ve never had to �date.� I�m newly sober so I�m not looking at The Palms or The Normandie Room. Where do you meet single lesbians? My plan was to just jump in. I put an ad in the Lesbian News personals section and let me tell you, it was some ad. It was smart, witty, funny, and extremely creative. I was so proud of that ad. I wanted to hear from everyone and anyone---but not at three a.m.---so I got an extra voicemail box and had all the calls go to it. That way I could anonymously listen to messages and decide if this sounded like the kind of person I might want to actually meet. I never expected the response I got. Over 150 calls in one month. I dated�a lot. I met women from every walk of life; from the severely closeted to the ones ya didn�t need gaydar to figure out. It was phenomenal. (It led to Sherri, which is a whole �nother diary entry too.) The whole time I was doing this dating thing, I refused to even consider dating women with children. I�d spent too much of my life living up to someone else�s expectations and putting my desires second to someone else�s. This was my time. It was while I was disentangling myself from Psycho Sherri that I met Ms., aka my better half. The love of my life; the woman of my dreams. The perfect compliment to my wild ways. Smart, witty, stable, secure. AND RAISING HER FUCKING DRUG ADDICT SISTER'S TWO CHILDREN. Am I nuts or what??? Ms., my better half, ignores the fact that I despise children because it doesn�t fit in with her mental picture of how things are. She feels if she doesn�t acknowledge this fact, it cannot possibly be true. There are other truths about me that she refuses to acknowledge because they don�t fit her take on things and if that�s what she needs to get through the day, who am I to rain on her parade? Unfortunately, the parent fa�ade wears thin and there are cracks appearing around the edges. It consumes an ever-larger part of my life and I don�t know how much longer I can defer my personal desires so that I can continue to put �the kid� first...
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secrets pondering: Why the right wingers who want to keep the government out of their business insist on putting the government in my bedroom laughing about: It gets lost in translation crying about: bad habits: smoking totally ballistic about: amen sister: someone else�s take on childlessness regular reads: cactustree must see tv: |