new raspberry; �HATES technological I am sick to death of erectile dysfunction, pass the tampons please |
AA Speaker 3 Our house was the party house Our house was the party house. Friends formed a band that would come and play music and we�d drink and smoke and coke the nights away. It was a lot of fun for a very long time because we were still under control. Maybe we were kidding ourselves, but there were only one or two in the bunch that would get too wasted and we definitely made jokes about their inability to keep it together, but we also took care of them. We made sure they either got home safe, or had a couch to crash on until they could get themselves home safe. I never connected the parties at our house with the parties my parent used to throw. It never occurred to me that in their lives, the parties started out being fun too and then progressed into something else. We spent a lot of weekends at the lake and on the river partying and I�m sure we did some occasional stupid shit, in fact I know we did. One day we went to Disneyland and we just couldn�t stay straight even for one day. We got busted for drinking and smoking in the parking lot before we�d even made it into the park. See when you go someplace like that, the natural chain of events is you find a parking spot, immediately exit the vehicle and beat a path to the front gate. Well we stayed in the car a little longer than most folks and after a few minutes two little golf carts pulled up behind us, blocking us in. I can tell you, their security department beats LAPD hands down. They kicked us out of the park for the day and told us that Disneyland didn�t serve alcohol and they certainly didn�t want marijuana on the premises and the next time we came to the park we should leave the contraband at home. So we went over to another amusement park, Knott�s Berry Farm, and managed somehow to not get busted there. I don�t know if the gods were smiling on me or laughing at me since there never seemed to be any consequences for the things I did that were wrong. Not even tragedy was going to get me off the road to alcoholism. When I was 22 my brother ~C~, who was 15 at the time, was involved in an off road accident in a Ford Bronco. He and a couple of friends went off into the hills near my mom�s house with a load of beer and a baggie of weed and proceeded to get wasted. While they were out there tearing up and down the trails, the driver lost it near the top of a ridge and rolled the vehicle all the way down the hillside. At some point during the vehicle�s descent, the top peeled off and ~C~ was thrown into the path of the Bronco which then crushed him. The paramedics told us that he was killed instantly and felt no pain. And this was an excuse to get very, very drunk and throw gasoline on the relationship I had with my father, which was pretty much non-existent since I�d escaped my parents house. They�d divorced during the time I was getting my act together like my detective friend advised me and ~C~ ended up with my dad. A few months before his death, they�d had a huge fight and ~C~ ended up with my mom and I was just 100 % sure that if ~C~ had still been living at my dad�s, he wouldn�t have gotten killed. Never mind the fact that ~C~ died because he and his buddies were wasted, it was all dad�s fault. And I told him so. And we all let ~C~�s death push us deeper into our disease. Having a dead brother was a great excuse for screwing up. My mother was the first one to bottom out. About a year and a half after ~C~�s death, she hit the wall and her new husband had the sense to get her good help when she had her moment of clarity and asked for it. She did inpatient rehab and hooked up with AA and she celebrated 21 years of sobriety this past summer. I�d known she had a drinking problem for years and I was so proud of her getting sober. Thank god I didn�t have a drinking problem. I only drank on the weekends. Part 3 of 6
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