new raspberry; �HATES technological I am sick to death of erectile dysfunction, pass the tampons please |
History 102 History 102 This is the tale of Crack�Ho and how we came to raise her children. Crack�Ho is the sister of my partner, Ms., aka my better half. She�s had a drug problem since before she left home. One marriage that resulted in the birth of her oldest child, then divorce. Six years later, a short liaison (no marriage involved) with The Kid�s father resulted in the birth of The Kid. Crack�Ho was frequently bailed out in every sense of the word by parents and siblings, the result of which is that Crack�Ho was prevented from hitting bottom for a very long time. About the time Oldest Child turned eleven, things were pretty bad in the trailer park. Oldest Child had enough sense to know that things were not as they should be and begged Ms., aka my better half to let him move in with her. And into our home he came. There were a lot of ups and downs, but this is not his tale right now, we are speaking of his mother. Crack�Ho could not be convinced to also part with her younger child, The Kid, at this time and until she fucked up big time, there was nothing we could do about it. Except wait. It didn�t take long. One night we got a call from a neighbor in the trailer park saying The Kid was wandering around the trailer park�at 2:00 a.m. while mommy was inside lost in a crack daze. So we got both kids with the blessing of the great state of California. Amen, pass the child support. Crack�Ho bounced around town from flop house to flop house until she found a suitable drug buddy/scum bag and promptly ensnared him by getting pregnant. Hmmmm. Wonder how her two oldest kids felt seeing mommy have new babies instead of trying to get her old ones back? Two years later when he was ready to give Crack�Ho the boot, she did it again. We are told she did no drugs during either of these pregnancies, but the fact that The Kid had to spend the first 10 days of his life being weaned off crack doesn�t make me have much faith in the truth of that statement. Their neighbors turned them in for child abuse a couple of times with the final time resulting in them both being ordered into rehab in order to regain custody of their children. Crack�Ho would only agree to go to a specific rehab facility which is also the one that Crack�Ho�s boyfriend was in and they could not be patients at the same time so she had to wait while his rehab was completed. That was excuse one. Excuse two was she wasn�t going to get clean unless I became her sponsor. Not a good idea for many, many reasons, but for the sake of the children, I allowed myself to be blackmailed into doing this. I don�t regret it, but I�m sure she does as I was probably harder on her as a sponsor than someone else in the program might have been. As her sponsor I became privy to many of her secrets, some of which make me very uncomfortable in light of the fact that I am part of her family, yet not a blood relative. It was difficult to keep those secrets back in the time when she was newly sober and had a lot of contact with her older children and us. But I did (still have, too). It was good experience for me and will help should I sponsor someone in the future. So now Crack�Ho�s older kids have watched her get sober so she can regain custody of her two younger children! Anybody else see the resentments that are piling up, one on top of another, in these two older kids? I would never have let these kids go back to her when she was drugging and probably not when she got sober, but even when she got sober she never even made any attempt to bring these kids back into her household. She liked to visit them and take them to cool places like the lake and the motorcycle races and Disneyland. But leave the parent shit for somebody else to do. I think for a while the boyfriend was encouraging her to get the kids back, after all, it would mean more money from social services and Oldest Child would be a built in babysitter for all the kids, but it would also mean a legal fight with us and face it folks, we have the money and we know how to throw it at lawyers. For whatever reason, he and Crack�Ho split up about a year before we moved to Kansas and she stopped coming around and calling so often (often for her was a call or visit every couple of months). In that last year before we moved we had a lot of problems with Oldest Child that I won�t delve into at this time, but the end-game was that The Evil mother in law from Hell interfered with our plan to deal with the problems Oldest Child was having and Oldest Child, who was now almost 17, ended up back in Crack�Ho�s custody. He pulled the same shit living with her and after about a month, she kicked him out. I will say he�s turned his life around and leave that story for another entry. Do you see a new resentment for The Kid? Why did she take back Oldest Child and not me? He never asked, but you know he had to be thinking it. �Pant, pant, pant. This is a long-assed entry� So we make our move to Kansas (with Crack�Ho�s signed, notarized, legally documented permission), and either have to transfer the guardianship of The Kid from the state of California over to the state of Kansas, or maybe we should just be done with the yearly court bullshit and adopt him. The state of Kansas wants money from absent parents for the care of their children and all the state funded resources those children use. And Kansas is serious about it. They will hunt you down and find you. It�s not like California where there are so many people clamoring for resources that you can get lost in the shuffle. These people are hunters, gatherers. Have been for generations. If we transfer the guardianship to Kansas they are going to squeeze Crack�Ho like the proverbial stone. And the blood will run. When informed of this appalling fact of accountability, Crack�Ho says we should adopt him. She�ll sign anything we need. We hire a good lawyer who is not cheap, not even by Kansas standards. We have to undergo an expensive home study evaluation by a counselor licensed by the state to offer reports to the court (Our lawyer, bless her heart, managed to find a lesbian counselor to do this for/to us). We undergo KBI background checks, FBI background checks, IRS checks and full medical examinations. We have to supply proof all animals are vaccinated and pose no threat to The Kid�even the fucking feral cats we feed outside. We have to have our home physically inspected for safety. We have to pay for lawyers to represent the interests of the absent biological father. There are court dates and papers galore. All of which Crack�Ho signs without batting an eye. Until the final papers. At which point The Evil mother in law from Hell interferes�again. Allow me to say that when I next see The Evil mother in law from Hell, I want to be shoveling dirt on her coffin. So with the biological mother of The Kid balking and the biological grandmother of the kid literally sending letters of false testimony to our lawyer, we have no choice but to change to a petition for guardianship. No problem, lets just throw a few thousand dollars in the wood burning stove next time, at least it would keep us warm for a minute or two. Guardianship is granted and hallelujah, it�s for a period of three years rather than the normal one. At which point The Kid will be old enough that the court will take his wishes into account and the Crack�Ho would be a moot point in an adoption action. In the meantime, perhaps we can change the Crack�Ho�s mind about adoption by filing for every single type of state aid The Kid can possibly qualify for so that the state will have a deeply vested interest in garnishing Crack�Ho�s paycheck. At least that was the theory. For some reason�redneck, backwards, 19th century thinkers�the state of Kansas has decided that Sperm�Donor, The Kid�s biological father, is the one that should be coughing up money. Sperm�Donor has never met his son. Sperm�Donor had never attempted to contact his son until Sperm�Donor�s father happened to mention that he had tracked down his grandchild, The Kid. Are ya with me still? For a brief period of time, while we were still in California, Sperm�Donor exchanged a few letters with his son. Why? Because there is absolutely, positively nothing else to do when you are incarcerated! But again, that�s a tale for another entry. Remember I said they were hunter-gatherers? Well they found him. They want $10,000.00 in back child support. And let me tell you folks, he ain�t happy. Meanwhile, Crack�Ho has a pretty good job nowadays. Seems her parents paid a lot of money to send her to a trade school to learn to earn a decent living�driving a truck. Yep, now there�s a profession where drug use does not run rampant�
|
www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from KonzaDiary. Make your own badge here.
secrets pondering: Why the right wingers who want to keep the government out of their business insist on putting the government in my bedroom laughing about: It gets lost in translation crying about: bad habits: smoking totally ballistic about: amen sister: someone else�s take on childlessness regular reads: cactustree must see tv: |