==Konza Diary==

Deep Shit
7:28 p.m. - Tuesday, Jun. 28, 2005

Deep Impact

Are any of you aware that life as we know it is about to come to an end? That this tenuous concoction of gas and mass that we call Earth may very well cease to exists—in our lifetime?

I didn't think so, not unless you are a serious science geek and somehow I get the feeling that there aren't any nuclear physicists in my readership. The only reason I know about it is because ever since the second shuttle disaster I signed up for the newslist at NASA. Now every time someone at NASA farts, I get an email.

Here's the cliff notes version of the mission: We have sent a large mass into space with the intention of having it collide with a comet. The purpose of this mission is, "To study the pristine interior of a comet by excavating a crater more than 25 m deep and 100 m in diameter." "Results will lead to a better understanding of both the solar system's formation and implications of comets colliding with Earth." Just so you understand the scale, that's a crater ranging in size from "…a house to a football stadium and from two to fourteen stories deep." This impact is scheduled to occur on July 4, 2005.

Now, what's actually going to happen is that the impact is going to blast the comet out of it's orbit, the orbit it has occupied since the beginning of time, nay, since the very beginning of the solar system. Depending upon the speed of the new orbit and the effect of Earth's gravitational pull, we will have anywhere from eight months to three years before the comet impacts with the third rock from the sun, setting it up for an extinction that will make the dinosaurs look like a minor serial killing spree.

What can we do? At this point, nothing. You think it was hard to stop The Shrub from going to war with Iraq, just try stopping NASA from doing something. In spite of the evidence, they're getting ready to kill some more astronauts with their buggy space shuttle program.

So I'm going to do what all the tough do when the going gets tough. I'm going shopping. That 87" plasma TV I've been drooling over, it's mine. New clothes on a shopping trip to Chicago's Michigan Ave and maybe a layover in New York. That ski vacation I always planned to Geneva? Booked it. That scuba trip to the Great Barrier Reef is no longer on my wish list, it's going to be fait accompli. See, if the Earth as we know it is going to end, then I'm maxing out my charge cards. Who the hell is going to be left to make me pay them. The only downside is that I'll be contributing to the recovery of the economy and that stupid Shrub will get all the credit…

btw, if you feel the need to know more about this coming doom, you can get it straight from the horse's asses and NASA

Listening to: Ms., aka my better half, talking to a co-worker

Smelling: bacon cheeseburger

Reading: william least heat~moon prairyerth

Mood: anticipatory

last five reads

kim dearth the compassion of dogs
alice randall the wind done gone
joyce maynard at home in the world
linda howard kiss me while i sleep
brad metzler the zero game

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